January 27th, 2010 was the 65th anniversary of the liberation of the Nazi death camp Auschwitz. It’s estimated that 1.5 million people perished in the ovens of Auschwitz.

I know about the anniversary because on that date, I attended a movie called “The Colours of the Holocaust” (“colours” is how it’s spelled in the title) created by the Finnish film director, Rax Rinnekangas.

At the start of World War II, Finland had 2,000 Jews. At the conclusion of the war, Finland had 1,992 Jews. As Rinnekangas says in a prologue to the film, “Eight is eight too many.”

The eight who were killed were refugees who had fled to Finland but were deported to Auschwitz by the State Police without government knowledge. Unlike many other countries, the Finnish government did not cooperate in the deportation of Jews.

Two themes emerge from the film.

The first is that hatred of others begins with the very human tendency to compare one person and one group to another. In and of itself, comparison is benign. We compare, for example, one product to another in order to choose the product that best fits our needs. We compare one person’s appearance to another as one criterion for choosing to be in an intimate relationship.

Comparison becomes malignant when we use that comparison to make ourselves right and the other person wrong. To make ourselves into the “good” and others into that which is “bad.” 

The second theme that emerges is fear of the “other.” We find reasons to fear others and, when employed by skillful propagandists, reasons to kill.

As one who studies conflict resolution strategies, I was struck by how these themes are at the root of all conflict, no matter how innocuous.

All conflicts begin with some form of, “I’m right, you’re wrong.” This dichotomy runs the gamut from mild disagreement through anger, to hostility and, at the extreme, killing rage.

When managed properly, this dichotomy can be the basis for creative solutions to problems. Progress occurs when competing ideas are listened to, understood and come together into something new.

When we add fear to the mix of “I’m right, you’re wrong,” the conflict becomes that much more difficult to resolve. Of course, in some conflicts, we fear bodily harm and, in those cases, “I’m right, you’re wrong” is completely appropriate.

More often, however, we are fearful of the other’s ideas because, if accepted as legitimate, it may cause us to have to reexamine our ideas and, perhaps, change them. The more fearful we are of “the other,” the more right we will make ourselves and the more we will find reasons to “take a stand,” “stick to our guns” and “refuse to budge” (almost always “on principle”).   

But also in our “human nature” is the very human impulse to show compassion. To resist the temptation to make others wrong. To recognize our fears as unjustified (our ego may be under assault, but rarely is our life threatened).

Like the Fins, we can resolve that there is no “other.” There is just “us” and we’d be insane to destroy “us.” Wouldn’t we?

QUESTIONS? COMMENTS? LJBARKAN@THEPIVOTALFACTOR.COM

Permission to reproduce is granted as long as the following citation is included:

Reprinted by permission of the author, Larry Barkan: http://www.conflictresolutiontraining.net